the post punk twang.

2006-08-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

happily never after.

ohkayy, im blogging now again after so long. cos i have the damn time. today was like reunion of the century. woah, talked to so many people i havent talked to in aeons. and i met ta, ash and senthil. but i feel bad cos they waited for me for like two hours? damn, im a bitch. anywayy, im a sick child now. been sick for the past few days and now i've got a long mc. supposed to be warded but hello? hospitals are freaky and i think i can get better at home. hospitals get you sicker. you know? oh wells, at least i have a break from work for awhile and use this time to like recollect or smth. i've been crazy lately. ohkayy, and my best friend pat. i love you dey. and im glad we got to talk today. i swear you are important and i was just too godamn busy with work. i love you ohkayy. and i wanna hang soon. you just takkaire and concentrate on your exams. yupps. im pondering on the idea of doing church tmr. i just dont know. maybe i will. anywayy, i'll catch you soon. stay happy all. goodbye.

apes the great, thanksyouverymuch.

ear plug: pray- blessthefall.

2006-07-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

violate all the love that im missing.
i would die for you.

work's a bitch. and im sick and tired of everything. im happy but not happy. im confused, in other words. and he's confusing me and giving me mixed signals and false hopes. its crazy. and i have decided to take it easy. let my life live itself. im reading this book on the life of ozzy osboorne. and its really helping me foster some hope. i mean that guy's whack and he still got to big and is living the high life now. like hello. he's my idol. and i've been ever so sick. and still having to work long hours. nicotine aint helping anymore. i've got to find something, really. to get me through this shithole. im not emo, my friend. im depressesed. uh huh. yeh. i miss being in school and being a kid and not having a care in the world. i think i just grew up too fast. man, i have no education. what the hell else can i do? and my friends. i have no time for them. on my off day, im ususally so tired. dammit. oh well. i cant be strong anymore. so i've got to drift and let go. you cant keep stressing yourself out, you'll go nuts. so im not going think about stuff too much. yeh, that's a plan. lets see when my next depressing post shall be. oh well, gonna mett terence now. so i'll blog when i blog. takkaire all.

ear plug: never stop haunting-maylene and the sons of disaster.

2006-06-25T13:03:00.000+08:00

rock star filth.

so busy with work. no time to blog. really, i swear this is the boring-est blog in the whole world. im gonna blog again soon, honest. anyhoos, i miss all my girls so much. hope to hang soon yehh. uh huh. LOVE <3

2006-05-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

i miss you. it will keep haunting me till i die. im sorry.

ear plug: i can tell-saosin.

2006-04-29T20:31:00.000+08:00

im home, but not for long. update before i go out again. my mum is so cool, she wants to go to town now and watch a movie. i was like but it will be so late. and she was like since when was that ever a problem for you. hahahHAHAH. funny la mum. anywayy, went to meet james and don. havent seen them for aeons. it was real fun. james is going to las vegas. lucky bastard. and i told him to bring me. i know he will. he better. we started this whole philosophy about being great friends and now we're competing who is the better friend. i know i will win. i can feel it in my bones. yehh anywayy, i tried to buy ciggarette from this uncle. and he asked for my ic. and i gave it to him and he was like youre only seventeen. and i acted all blur and was like i thought seventeen years old can buy ciggarettes. and i told him im from overseas and all. AND HE BOUGHT IT. i got the ciggarettes. dumb uncle. its a good thing tho.hahah. but it was too late tho. when i tried earlier at another shop, i couldnt buy so james didnt get his ciggarettes. nevermind. we bought it elsewhere. i bet you dont understand my story. its ohkayy. i dont understand it either. anywayys, JAMES HAS WESTLIFE AND BACKSTRRET BOYS AND CHRISTINA AGUILERS IN HIS MP3. i wasnt supposed to tell. sorry james. i had to let everyone know your whack sense in music. no la, his OTHER songs were all good la. james has good music taste. im contridicting myself. ohh nevermind. pat came to meet us and she and james were talking. HAHA. im proud of you guys. pat's going to have dinner at outback. if only i still worked there. i told pat a secret. it was hilarious. and its true, pat. you better heed my advice and smoke reds. it will help and you know what i mean. HAH. well, pat had to go for dinner so we went to play pool. james and don are so sweet, they carried my heavy heavy art stuff cos i was lazy la. yehh anywayy, james is gonna peirce my lip. and im scared cos he's never done it before. don told me to pray realy hard. ohh and james and i are gonna get a tattoo. how exciting. he wants to get a glow in the dark one. like whats the point. its a waste of money. but nevermind. james is gonna be working with me too. im getting him the job. SO WHO'S THE GOOD FRIEND NOW HUH? ohh anywayy, we went to play pool with ralph, don's dad and another guy. forgot his name. woops. it was funn la. meeting them tmr for mass. woah. im seeing so many people tmr. hokay, meeting james and don for mass then meeting hyaz, regina,mel,sam, francis, jane, gerard, aaron and all the other church people, then meeting my beloved ta then meeting fiona then meeting peter then meeting patricia (another one) then GIG. ohh shiokness.
then drinking. last dose of alchohol. happiness. i talked to seshaa today too. i miss her like so damn much. i was practically screaming when i heard her voice. hope to see you soon, babe. today was a good day except for my headache in the morning. wells, im leaving like soon so i'll update tmr. or later when i get back. no, i dont need to pee. thanksyouverymuch. LOVE.

glenna- i miss you babe. i hope youre fine. talk soon.
seshaa-i was so happy to hear from you. even after so long, youre still my sweetheart.
jill-was digging up memories and i miss you even more. you mean the world to me, babe.
hyacinth-thanks for sticking by my side no matter what. im so glad we're close.
shaunna-i miss you. too bad we couldnt meet today. hope we will tmr.
ta-right now, youre the only one holding me together and i love you so much.
pat-babe, what would i do without you? love you much.
fiona-so happy we're close. you bring great joy to my life.
dhini-i miss you alot and im also aware i still owe you money.
jillian-thanks for understanding. im holding on because of you.
reginald-youre the defination of friend. i love you.
jane-miss you alot. thanks for all.
sherri-havent spoken to you for long babe. i still love you sweetheart.
nicolette-thanks for being a great sister. i love you.

2006-04-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

today is a good day. i saw lovely people. im bored. and its raining. RAIN DEPRESSES ME. and emo songs too. ta said i made her emo. WAH LAO. i miss people. loads of people. bloody exams la. all cannot go out. FUCK. i wish i had exams too. then we can all suffer together. damn. oh wells. ABF. what happen to our band huh? bloody hell. personal conflict. i miss you guyys. please do not disband cos of stupid things please. please jam soon. before work starts. hokayys. i need to pee. sorry ahh. i'll update again when i feel like updating what i need to update when i feel like updating again about the feeling of updating again when i feel like updating what i need to feel like updating what i feel like. i need to pee, bye.

ear plug: emily-from first to last.

2006-04-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

this is for special people.
reginald-the one that sticks with me thru it all. one of the greatest friends i have ever met. the one i would never want to lose. im sorry for the let down. i dont deserve one bit of your friendship. i remember the days when we were all excited about our band. and writing songs and all. i miss that. but i know i brought it upon myself. i will always hold a special place in my heart for you. you were the one who made me believe what i would never. you were the one guiding me and sticking it out with me thru it all. God has bless me with you and i love you.

terence-for what its worth, im sorry. losing my best friend. i dont know what else to say. but you have truly been a very special person in my life. maybe one day, it'll go back to what it was. i dont know and i dont care what you think about me now. but i have said my piece. i wish you the best in your life and i thank you for all the times you guided me and stood by my side.i miss our late nights and all our crazy fun. the times when things were still wonderful.but i still love you.

jillian-you are truly a gift and i thank God for you. you kept me going and i feel like among everyone, i have let you down the most. you truly inspire me and i believe that no matter what you will have my back. and remember i have yours. i remember all our fun and all the times we confided in each other. the times when you corrected my stupid mistakes and showed me how much you care for me. i could have never been this open with anyone else. you were the only one who noticed all my little efforts and helped me have self confidence. you being strong has helped me be strong as well. i will always keep you in my heart as you are really a special person and i have never regretted knowing you. from the begining till now, i love you.

louis-although we have drifted, the memories still stay. among everyone, our friendship was the shortest, but still worth every bit of it. i thank you for all the times when you never failed to lose hope in me and had faith in me no matter what. the times when you spoke up for me and the times when we could really just talk to each other. im sorry for being the biggest let down ever. but i want you to know that you'll always be special to me. and i love you.

beverley-i have never actually been a good example to you and im really sorry. althought i gave you alot of shit, you still continued to be by my side. and i cant begin to tell you how much i appreciate it. i hope this doesnt mean the end of our friendship. you are truly someone i respect and someone i believe will go far. i have hope in you and even if that doesnt matter, remember i love you.

melvyn-the best support i ever had. the one who never ever gave up hope. when i was a wreck and pushed you away, you still stayed. and i dont know how to ever thank you. your concern for me has made me a better person and until now you still stick by me. you are so special to me and i dont ever want to lose you. i have let you down time and time again. but i swear i never meant to hurt you. i will never in a million years find anyone like you and that is why i love you so much.

geraldine-i thank you for everything you have done for me. although we have never been that close, you still mean alot to me and i treasure you with all my heart. i really appreciate your friendship and i hope it will last in the time to come. i love you.

james, julian and joyce-im sorry for not being able to handle the responsibility. you guys are truly my inspiration and i will never forget you guyys. i hope you guys will understand and i thank you for everything. you have done so much for me. i love you so so much.

godma and godpa-i cherish you and i hope you will understand my decision. you have been the greatest part of my life and i hope to never lose it. when i was in the deepest shit ever, you guys gave up so much just to help me and i thank you for it. i love you alot.

hyacinth, samantha, melissa, regina, brian, mark and joanne-the ones i have truly let down. i am in no position to say anything but thanks for sticking with me, especially the girls. till now, you hold your respect for me and give me so much strength. i could not ask for more. i hope you understand my decision. i am sorry especially for not setting a good example to follow. but i know that our friendship will last always. you guys are a blessing.

im sorry for being a letdown and i thank you for everything. please understand my decision. i will always cherish and love you, always.

time of my life <3

2006-04-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

i think i fixed it already. ohh apes is so smart, she could just die. hah. oh wells. if you want me to link you, tell me hokayy. or else i wont. im gonna bed now. tho im not sleepy. i think i suffer from insomnia. or whatever. damn damn. help me somebody. sing me a lulaby. hokayy i'll ask someone to. love. thanksyouverymuch, apes.

2006-04-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

i cant stand this thang. all the old posts become uppercase and its so annoying. HELP pls. tell me if you know what the hell is wrong. thanksyouverymuch.

2006-04-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

In tears I see you,
the last time it will be
so give me your blessing,
I'll meet my destiny.

2006-04-25T02:57:00.000+08:00

its tuesday. just one week more till i start working again. to tell you the truth, im actually excited. its like the hottest place to work. and the people there are so fun to be with. they're all older than me but its still cool. and the pay is good, thank God. i just dont wanna screw up. this is too good a job to lose. well anyways, i think i'll be able to handle it. hokayy. i got sick again this morning. havent had an attack for more than two months and i woke up with one today. best part was i didnt have my medication. dammit. went to get new medication and im fine now. thanks to my mum. i swear i thought i would nvr get an attack again so i didnt get new meds. but oh wells, it happened and now i have to take care of it till i goes away. and i hope it does soon. oh anyway, my mum says i cant go out till next monday. but the gig. kandhi's gig. i cant miss it. i promised him already and i really wanna go out this weekend cos i would probably be working every weekened starting from next week. no more late nights. just lots of work. yehh. nvm. i'll deal with it. so i'll post again later. ohh takkaire you jolly people.

what im listening to : elegy-as i lay dying.

2006-04-25T00:51:00.000+08:00

this is my new blog. MY BLOG.